Sunday, August 7, 2011

L is for the way you Look at me. O is for the Only one I see. V is Very Very extrordinary. E is Even more than I can ever adore.

So. Not gonna lie to you. I'm a woman in love and it's grand. I have found through the process of our entire relationship that I'm actually a pretty private person. Or maybe I was afraid if I wrote about it, it would all somehow dissolve and fall apart and be something I dreamed once and thought, believed was so real. It's not a dream. That I know for sure...if it were a dream it would have all come together so much easier.

It took my man a grand total of ten months to finally tell me he liked me. Liked me. Lets just say I almost gave up on things all together. But somewhere along the line I just knew somehow that it was right and so I hung on as long as I could. So we talked for a while after that and finally he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was very high school but it an endearing sort of way. So by now you could almost say we've been together for a year even though we've ony been dating for a month and 7 days.

It's the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken. We take things very seriously when it comes to relationships....we didn't want to be together if we weren't sure it was going to eventually be a forever situation. So in a way we've already made a big commitment to each other. We plan to get married one day. I would like to graduate first. Sometimes...I go along and I feel like we've been together forever. Then I stop and think... and it's like I can't believe I have someone because I've been without for so long. The Lord had a plan for both of us and he brought us together at just the right time.

He lives very far away from me and that has been a struggle...but in two weeks hes moving in just down the street from me. I'm both elated and nervous. It's a big step and yet it's not because it's just one step closer to where we both want to be.

I had faith that one day God would give me someone and yet on the other hand I had determined that if he didn't it wouldn't change who I was. I didn't want just anyone. I wanted what God had for me.There's a difference. A big difference. I'm happy now in ways I cannot explain. We're very good for each other....I help keep him humble, he helps keep me sane. It works somehow and I don't know how, but God does.

I always wanted a love story. And now I have one of my very own...front porch swings, car rides in the truck after midnight, talking in the rain under a tree, breakfast with waffles, forts in the living room, swimming holes, cookies...

all these things add up to a story that is my man and me and somewhere along the way they also added up to love.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


You know, one could not physically laugh ones butt off. Physically impossible. I understand "laughed till I cried" or "laughed till my stomach hurt" or "laughing out loud". But laughing your hindparts off is a bit far fetched. The butt isn't even involved in the laughing process.

Just sayin.


Whenever one of my kids walks up to me and asks, "Is _____real?" whether its fairies or Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or giant mutating frogs, I simply ask, "Do you think they're real?" Nine times out of ten, the answer is an adamant, "yes." and so I say, "Then they are."
I know without a doubt that it is our beliefs that make things real. Santa is a very real person to them, to them he is real. Certain phobias don't make sense to most of the world, but to that one person who honestly believes in their fear, its very real to them. I find that one of the things I loathe most in this world is a scoffer. Someone who says, "well thats stupid" or "they aren't real" This shows a huge lack of empathy. Empathy is something that makes us very human. It allows us to put ourselves in someone elses shoes and try to understand where they are coming from. Without this ability in life we are crippled and closeminded. Nothing new can be taught to us, nothing different can be introduced because we cannot see past our own reality. Sometimes, life is so much more beautiful if we but for a moment can become apart of someone else. So at Christmas time, I believe in Santa, right along with my class, and at Easter I just know the bunny will pay a visit. Sometimes on the playground I must protect my class from giant mutating frogs, and dragons, and often when they are sound asleep at naptime, the sleep fairy comes to visit with a sticker...and when they wake up and look at me with wonder in their eyes, I know that anything in this World is possible. If I will just believe.

Friday, June 3, 2011

A God thing. Way better than a good thing.

I've done a lot of crying lately, due mainly to blessings in my life. I've watched a lot of wow-god moments happen to other people, like you could literally see the hand of God move in their life. It gave me faith, I've been searching for an answer to something for some time now, and seeing these moments happen to others has given me even more faith that God has an answer for me too in his own good time.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. It was a really bad prognosis too. She asked the doctors, "what if I don't respond to treatment? How long do I have?" they told her two weeks. Two weeks. She had smoked all her life and so surprise! She had lung cancer. She had lung cancer but she didn't have God. She went to church but she didn't have God. I don't know how you battle something like that without him. We all prayed for her cancer, and even more earnestly prayed for her soul. Just this weekend she finally gave her life to the Lord...which was amazing! We were all ecstatic! She was overjoyed, we were overjoyed, but she still had cancer. The very next Thursday, this Thursday, she went to the doctor for her check-up....

shes cancer free.


I hear about stories like this from other people...but I've never known anyone directly that it's happened too. This is NO coincidence. Perhaps the Lord used her cancer to bring her to him...I hope it doesn't take such extremes for everyone. It certainly didn't for me.

This is just one of some amazing stories I've been privy to this week. If he can cure cancer...he certainly can give me an answer about this concern I have in my life.

"I have no other friend beside thee, Oh Lord, won't thou keep me thine own? I need thy helping hand to guide me, for I cannot find the way alone."

Thursday, May 19, 2011

For a Little While

There are places like Neverland and Narnia. Places like Wonderland and Terebithia. Places that are beautiful fantastical fairy tales. No matter the name or who tells the story, there is this place that exists...somewhere between awake and sleep...where the boogieman lurks and nightmares creep, where heroes save the day and maidens faint away. Where dragons roar and carpets soar to brand new heights. Where castles stand tall and mountains can fall if only you have a bit of magic. There are no limits to bravery, no limits to the imagination, minds are wide open and the blind can see a beauty that exists in no other place. Oh- this place has many names. It's whatever we believe it to be. Whatever we wish it to be. A haven, an escape. Wouldn't it be nice to live there?
If only for a little while.

Monday, May 9, 2011


"I am enjoying this. This...the friendship into whatever we are now and what we could be. It's great."

awesome line. and it's not from a movie. that's real life ladies and gentlemen.

isn't it grand?

Monday, April 4, 2011

I will soar.


This is how my brain has felt all day today. also,


not a good sign.

I think, translated, that means I'm frustrated about many things and am due for a vacation.

on a beach. with a book, and no plans, just peace.(ooh! and a large cone filled with double fudge brownie ice cream which happens to be the best icecream in the universe.)

One day, I will be able to afford vacations.

I think also that I am sad, even though I am hiding it well. I shouldn't be. But I am.

Somedays you just get sick of fighting. Of beating your head against the proverbial wall of life. Of trying so hard all the time and it just....continuing to fall apart. So much effort goes into living...especially into living a life thats lived to the fullest.

Which we all say we want to do but really end up sitting on our bums watching television and stalking the internet, reading blogs, writing blogs and updating our facebooks. The circus could've tromped by our windows and we wouldn't have noticed (side note: how COOL would it be to be a trapeze artist? just sayin')

I will be productive. I will not moon. I will not mourn. I will be upbeat. I will be happy.

I will soar.